Episode 1 – Are We Crazy Pet Parents?

17 Sep 2018 | Written by Freshpet
In Episode 1, our hosts – cat mommy-squared, Andrea, and Kaity, the loving mother of Floofboi the Shih Tzu – share their funniest and cutest stories about their beloved pets while discussing the term “pet parents”, why it's divisive, and why they believe responsible, caring pet owners have every right to call themselves “mom” or “dad”.   

Episode Transcript

 

He looked at our little pup and it was like he was overcome with emotion.

Yeah.

And he said, "You're the king of my heart."

Welcome to Pet Parents Oversharing brought to you by Freshpet.

Hey, hi.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Pet Parents Oversharing. My name is Andrea Shapiro. I am a cat mommy squared. I think that's how math works. And-

It's not.

No? Okay. And I have a mathematician/comedian friend, fellow fur baby loving person, my cohost Kaity Reagle.

Hi.

Kaity is the mommy to an adorable floof, literally a floof.

His name's Floof Boi.

Yes.

He's here with us today. He's gonna hop on the mic later I'm sure.

I wanna hear all about Floof's exploits and that's why we started this podcast, right? Freshpet basically was like, "We know you guys have some good stories about being pet parents," and we were like, "We do, but are you ready for us to tell you about like crazy and wacky and pretty disgusting because we're not holds bar." Like I feel like we have no shame.

It's funny because all of my friends and coworkers and loved ones are like, "Wow, we've heard quite a lot about Floof Boi, maybe you could stop talking about him for two seconds." And here we are like, "No, let's lean in."

No.

Sheryl Sandberg.

Yes, Sheryl Sandberg, thank you. It was obviously about our pets. That's what you wanted us to talk about. No they're like, "How about we get to know you?" You're like, "Me is Floof. Floof is me."

Floof is me.

Where does Floof end and where do I being? Nobody knows.

Do you relate more to one of your cats than the other? Or are they both just combined part of you?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I think one of them is me and the other is my fiance. Look I managed to fit in that I'm getting married within the first five minutes of this podcast.

Have you guys heard?

Have I heard? I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops aka social media. Because that's what you do. Anyway. Especially if you're like already co parenting then it's like this is you know amazing.

I think that I am more of like the scatter brained doofy one and he's the one that's like Phoebe who's just like gonna lay down and be like, "I'm gonna just watch this episode of Supernatural." Somebody in our household does watch Supernatural. So ...

And it's not Andrea.

And it's not me. So, do you feel like you encapsulate things ... When people say you start looking like your dog and acting like your dog, or maybe it's the other way around, but do you feel like they're aspects of Floof that are similar to your personality?

I absolutely do. He'll, first of all, he has this look on this face at all times where he constantly looks shocked and appalled. And that's usually where I live too. I also thought when I got a dog that I would be ... It would be a good way for me to be like be more active, like out and about. And we still try to take him to the park a little bit, but he's very much like, "Okay, I did my business. Can you please take me back to my home?"

"I'm ready to just go home, crack open a Diet Coke with my mom and watch some Bravo." You don't feed your dog Diet Coke, I'm sorry.

I don't. But he knows I love it.

Yeah, he's like, "Let me fetch you one in my mouth." He would never do that, that's ...

His mouth is way too tiny.

Floof also is, what's the term? Wall-eyed? Is it wall-eyed when ... okay. Cross-eyed is when they're in, right?

Oh.

And then I think wall-eyed is when it's out.

It was like he was cross-eyed and then over corrected. Now they're both going different directions.

Well the nice thing is, and we've discussed this before, is you don't have to choose who Floof loves more between you and your husband because he can look at the both of you at the same time.

But if he did have to choose, it would be me.

It would obviously be you. Would you use the word adore about your pet?

I usually use the phrase, "Love with the force of a thousand splendid suns."

Okay, sorry. I-

But adore falls under that category.

I was worried that adore was hyperbolic, but I guess not. And there is just a feeling that I have towards my pets that I just have not experienced elsewhere in my life. And I think pet parent is correct, by no way do we wanna undermine what it's like to be a parent, absolutely not. That's a whole other thing.

See, the thing is, I can't imagine ever loving a child more than I love Floof Boi. I hope any future children of mine are listening-

Yeah.

... I'd like to be clear, I don't see myself going back on this.

You can't push love. Like when you meet an animal, if the connection's there it's there. It's like any relationship. So what I would like to talk about is-

Hit me.

... Just, I will. Here it comes. Britney Spears style, one more time. I wanna talk about wacky tendencies that we have as pet parents. So then these guys that are listening can get to know us a little better. You know maybe they'll open up to us and tell us some of their stories. You know, we're here for you guys. We're like your pet therapists. Okay? We're like Dr. Ruth, but for pets. That's weird. No. I don't wanna be like Dr. Ruth. We're from Austria. Is Dr. Ruth from Austria? Yes.

But what is there, like for instance, something that you do with Floof that is ... other people might deem weird?

Where do I begin?

I know there's a bevy, there's a well.

Well speaking of Austria ... We found when we brought Floof home that he already had a voice and it lived inside of us. And it's kind of an accent that is a little Russian, little German, little Italian.

I've experienced this first hand before.

So we use that to share his thoughts with the world.

Mm-hmm (affirmative). Okay, let's pretend that I'm perhaps interviewing Floof for, I don't know, a dog pageant and I wanted to ask him a question. Would you respond in the voice that he might use?

I sure would.

Okay. What are your opinions about net neutrality?

"Okay, so I would say neutrality for me is something I'm interested in. But nets are like no, I don't like nets."

Okay, you're afraid you're gonna get caught in the internets?

"I don't think I've ever not gotten caught in a net if it was near me. Like I just get tangled up."

Is it because you're more slow going? Floof, I love your laugh.

"Thank you."

You're welcome.

Oh, he's on the move. He knows he's talking.

Yes, he's like, "Is that my ... Who's doing me?" This is actually more the German accent that I'm assuming a German Shepherd does. "Hello, I want to wear lederhosen but I can't."

What is this like sexy German Shepherd that you're doing an impression of? I love it.

Wait did you see ... I need to look it up, the guy who takes a bath with his cat and raps about it?

I have seen that gentleman.

I love them.

I also, while we're on that topic, great segue, most cats hate water. We know that.

True.

My cat, on the other hand, has a tenuous relationship I would say with water. A very ... There's quite a duality that exists shall we say.

Go on.

So, the way we punish my cat when she's doing something bad is we spray her with a little spritz bottle, which by the way Jackson Galaxy, cat behaviorist, says we're not supposed to do. But whatever. I need to live my life and not have all my pictures knocked off my bookcase all the time. Okay. I pay good money on Snapfish for those. So we spray her with that. She knows she's being punished when we spray her with that. Right?

But she is obsessed with the faucet and when we're doing the dishes she will literally get in the sink and go under the faucet.

Oh.

And she's been hot lately, so we've been just straight up bathing her in the water. Just getting her soaking wet. Which is great, but then she like steps all over my papers and there's like little paw prints everywhere. So yeah that's a like...

That could be your signature for when you like send out like important paperwork, just like a little wet paw print in every corner.

It's like my Carol Burnett ear pull but instead it's like a paw print, yes. Maybe I should put a little lipstick on the paw and then like make her, you know, it's a cat kiss. Nice.

But she does that ... Oh, songs. Okay, there's two songs. They're mainly about Candy because Phoebe is very inactive. One is that Candy is obsessed with the printer and it's like on the ground, we could move it but that would mean we'd have to move things and also we like singing the song, I think that's partially why we don't move the printer. But when it prints out she runs over to it and it looks almost like she's looking up to it, like it's a deity. And so we sing, "The printer is my god, the printer is my god. High, ho the cherry-o, the printer is my god."

And then she like tries to touch the paper as it comes out so like I'll have papers, important papers that I need to sign and then they're all crumpled up and I have to like, because she's like attacking it as it's like coming out. Like pawing it.

But it's precious.

It is precious. It's really cute. Then the other one is, the song that we sing for her is, "I'm a tiny cat in a tiny bed in this tiny place with a tiny head and my name is Candy Shapiro."

That's the most beautiful song I've ever heard.

Thank you.

Well we look to do adaptations here and there.

Of course.

So sometimes I'll like run around the house and go, "Floof, there it is."

Yeah. Yeah I feel like the song that I've done is like probably an old Irish like folksong that I just appropriated to, "And her name is Candy Shapiro and the potato famine happened once." You know? It's probably ... anyway, sorry about that.

I'm pretty sure my family has that like framed on the wall, like some version of that.

The potato ... "Oh, the old potato famine folksong."

I'm actually pretty happy with that Irish accent there.

That was good.

It was just derogatory enough I think. Is your family Irish?

Yeah.

And is your dog Irish?

No.

Yes. He's Austrian. Australian. Don't you love me?

You know ...

Yeah, I don't think we've even discussed what breed your dog is.

Oh, that's a good question. We think he's a Shih Tzu.

Okay, yes.

He was adopted from, straight from the shelter so we don't know for suresies. But then I looked at pictures online and it looks like twins. So.

Yeah, when I first met him I got a very Shih Tzu vibe.

Yeah.

I love Shih Tzus. Have you ever seen the movie Best in Show?

Yes.

It's one of my favorite movies of all time.

So good.

When I think of Shih Tzus I think of Michael McKean and his, the man that plays his husband in that.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

And when they have their little Shih Tzus with their ponytails, and that's like, that's when I think of quintessential Shih Tzus right there.

Well you know I love to put his little-

I've seen.

... his little hair in the top, top little bun, like a little sprout sticking out of it.

Yeah. Yeah like he's a little Debbie Gibson and it's like 1987, I know.

I know, I sent that ... I was talking to, like checking in with email with an old boss, like we check in every now and then, and I was like, "Oh and I don't think you've actually met our dog," and I sent a picture. And then she sent me a picture of her three year old daughter with the exact same hair. It was like, wow, what a world.

Who wore it better? Floof.

Obviously.

Obviously. So among other things that we do, for our pets, I think we've kind of addressed ...

Other things that we do for our pets. I think we've kind of addressed this already, but maybe voices that we use for them.

Oh, not as them, but to them.

Right, to them. For instance, I know your husband ... Maybe even catchphrases that we say to them, or little terms. You know what I'm getting at. The thing that your husband said to him that you caught him doing one day.

He didn't know I was listening.

Again, it's just between you and I.

Just between us and everyone.

And everyone else in this studio right now.

He looked at our little pup, and it was like he was overcome with emotion.

Yeah.

He said, "You're the king of my heart." And then he picked him up and held him. Then I was like, "Hey! If anyone's gonna be royalty in your heart, I don't know if maybe that's something ... I don't know, maybe I could be a part of it?"

Or your wife.

Think that might have been part of our vows, but I get it. I get it. He's the king of my heart, too.

You're both the court jesters.

We are. We're just the court jesters to Floof, the little king of our hearts.

Yeah, absolutely. Jonas got me a cup that said, "I work hard so my cat can have a better life."

Yeah.

And I look at it in the morning and drink my coffee, and I'm like, "I will ... " It's true. I wish it wasn't as true as it-

Dog sweaters aren't free.

No, they're not. It takes folks like you and me. We gotta get together. You gotta get on these streets so you can afford that nice cashmere sweater for Floof.

Do cats, do they care when you leave the house?

Candy does. Phoebe couldn't really care. But when you come back, they're both like, "Where were you? We were gonna die. We were going to die. And in order for us to feel alive, we had to knock the salt and pepper shakers off of the table. Okay? So how dare ... You made us do this." And I'm like, "It's been 25 minutes."

"Look what you did."

"Look what you did." Jackson Galaxy would also ... I literally read Jackson Galaxy's website, obviously 'cause I'm a cat owner. If you don't know who Jackson Galaxy is, he is the host of the show My Cat From Hell.

Oh.

Which my friend, Sydney Beverage was on. She's also a comedian, and she speaks opening about it, 'cause her husband has a cat from hell, obviously. But he probably says we shouldn't do this, but we set up a cat feeder for them, an auto feeder, because if we don't, then ... And we have these little insert things, little cooling packs so it stays cold, as if I'm setting up an igloo cooler for my cats.

Yeah, really.

That's what I do. It's a whole process. And then I have to set it for 4:00 in the morning, 'cause otherwise at 4:00 in the morning, they will scratch at the door. That's when Phoebe will be the most vocal. Phoebe will be like-

Phoebe's the cat that usually just lays there.

Yes.

But it sounds like she can really get it goin' for some food requests.

Yes. She does. And-

I get her.

I feel she's very much like my fiance. She's like, "Don't touch me. I don't know who you are." And it's like, "It's called personal space. This is my damn space. This is your damn space." And then Candy is just like, "I'm just gonna climb on everything and then step on your crotch." Okay. Does Floof step on your crotch? I feel like these cats step on my-

Yes.

I feel like it wouldn't be as bad for him, but my cats do something called making biscuits. It's when they-

Oh, that's so cute.

It is really cute. But when they do it on your crotch, it's not so fun.

Not so cute.

I'm like, "You're aiming. You're not even-"

A little inappropriate.

It's really inappropriate. I'm like, "Okay, thank you." Although Floof, one time I held him and automatically, he felt me up.

Put one paw just right on the cleave.

I was like, "All right, let's calm down here."

He wants to make himself comfortable and-

He does. And that's ... With his hand on ... It was in between, though. So he was like, "I'm not sure which." It's 'cause he's so wall-eyed. He's like, "Where are they?"

He knows a good bosom when he sees it.

He's like, "I'll hit one somehow. I'm not sure which one I wanna choose, yet."

So my favorite thing is, and I know I've said this before to Katie, is maybe people don't know this, but Floof recently won the hot dog competition.

The little 4th of July pageant.

A 4th of July pageant at a comedy club that Katie and I perform at. Before the pageant, other dogs were interacting with each other, and Floof found his way under a bar stool, and kinda just barricaded himself in. And it reminded me of this meme of a woman who made this thing out of iron. It's a box, basically, but you can step inside of it. And she put it around herself on the subway so nobody would bother her. So no one would step in her space. And I was like ... I wanna do a thing where we put a picture of Floof doing that, and that woman and be like, "Who wore it better?" Do you think that Floof is smart?

I think that he's smarter than he lets on. But also, no.

Go on.

I think that there's some things where he could figure it out, but he doesn't care to. We got a lot of the social media outreach, people talking about their experiences with their pets, and I was like ... People talking about how their dogs know each of their stuffed animals by different names.

I saw that.

I was like, "Uh, okay." My dog plays with one tiny stuffed animal, it's a tiny raccoon face on a ball, and he'll only do it when no one's watching, during the hour of the wolf.

Oh, I forgot my song. [singing 00:18:01] That's what you have to sing now, from now on.

Can we do it together?

Yes. [singing 00:18:07]

And then you end with that.

And then all of a sudden my cat comes in, she's like, "And her name is Candy Shapiro." Okay. I don't think Candy's smart. I constantly say to my fiance, when he's like, "Candy, why are you doing this?" And I'm like, "Her brain is the size of a walnut, please remember."

A very cute little walnut.

She is a very cute little walnut. But she literally has the capacity in her brain, the same as a goldfish. I think she goes from one side of the apartment, and then she just completely forgets the other thing. She is really cute, though. And if she wants to get your attention, she does play fetch a little bit.

Oh, well she's a little smarter than Floof, I guess.

I think she likes to engage. Maybe that's why. I don't think she knows ... I think it's ringing in a different bell in her head than it would ring for a dog. You know what I mean? Where it's like, "Oh, this is from my mom and I wanna show her I love her." Not like, "Oh, it's so silly. I'm a dog and I'm gonna go get this and be like ... And I love getting and I love running." She's just like, "This is about survival." You know?

So do you feel like you always felt good about being the cat's mom?

Yes.

Yeah.

I think I have very maternal instincts to begin with.

I get that. Will you hold me later?

I will.

Great.

I'm gonna spoon you. You can be the little spoon. I do feel like I've always had maternal instincts. And maybe it's ... I grew up around healthcare. And I grew up, I had a yellow lab when I was growing up, who I used to ... I made it my job that I would take care of her.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

I would take the ticks off of her after we'd go in the woods, or she had to get insulin shots after a while, and I gave her insulin shots. I wanted to learn how to do it and give her insulin shots.

Pew, pew.

Pew, pew. They're just lasers. Did you guys know? Dogs got way cooler insulin than we do. And yeah, I just wanted to be really involved in taking care of her. And also, we grew up in a healthcare family, too. So I felt like care taking was very much a part of that, too. So I think ... I don't know. I just ... I also am very drawn to animals because they just are ... Not that they're simplistic. I think dogs love you unconditionally. Cats, it's different, but I do think they have a capacity for empathy. One time was crying 'cause I was sad that somebody in our family passed away. I was crying, and Phoebe came up and headbutted me. You know, the cute little headbutt. You know?

Aw.

And she's done it numerous times when I'm kinda sad, she kinda cozies up to me. And I'm like ... See, cats are affectionate, they have to trust you. You know, in order for that to happen. What that means is, you have to give them food on a regular basis. Then they're like, "You're a good person."

I, like the 8,000-year-old woman I am, stepped out of the shower, slipped, smashed my toe against the door and I was down. I was full ... I was down. And I yelled a little, 'cause it hurt, and Floof comes [ch-ch-ch-ch-ch 00:21:34] comin' up. My husband slept through it. Floof comes up, and he's like ... Yeah, this no Lassie gonna go get help. I'm in the well, he's like, "Can I come? Can I get down there and hang out?" He was like, "Oh, okay. We're on the bathroom floor now. That's what we're doing tonight. Oh okay, I mean, I do like the bathroom floor. I can hang out right here. We can sit. We can snuggle."

"I'll tell you about my old times in Vienna."

"Do you want some clothes? No? Okay, me neither. Aye." Actually, this leads ... 'Cause I know we did wanna talk about some poop stories.

Yeah, always.

The next morning, I was-

I was like, "When are we getting to it?"

The next morning, I had a friend who was in from out of town. She was nice enough to come to me, so I was like, "Okay, just we'll have to walk four blocks. I'll bring Floof, we'll sit outside and catch up." So I got Floof, and I'm hobbling. Okay? I'm hobblin'. And right outside my apartment is this big street. A lot of thru-traffic and everything. Light turns, I go. I'm hobblin' across. Halfway through ... Not even halfway, a third of the way through, Floof does his little spiny thing, and starts to poop. And I'm like, "No." And so I just keep going, trying to pull him along to the other side. And he just leaves little poop pellets.

Why didn't you want him to poop, though?

'Cause we were in the middle of the street.

Oh, I didn't understand that part.

No, we were in the middle of the street and there were cars on both sides waiting at the light, just watching us. Me hobbling with him pooping.

It's like that scene from Bridesmaids with Maya Rudolph.

Right?

It was totally that.

And he was like, "Bloop. Bloop."

And he was in a dress when it happened, right?

It was little ... And I got to the other side, and it looked like Pac-Man, just boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

I have this great detection system in my house for finding cat vomit. It's called my foot. And it's bullseye, every time.

What I did want to get back to though, just about eating stuff.

Hit me.

So I've gotten some of the Freshpet stuff recently.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

And there's a tube of it that the cats really like, the pate thing. The salmon pate.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

And it looked very delicious.

Did you do it? Tell me. Did you do it?

I haven't done it, but I'm not against it. And okay, the tube it comes in, it's almost-

And the tube it comes in, it's almost like what polenta comes in or cookie dough, so savory and sweet. We've got 'em both taken care of, but would you eat cat food? Would you eat dog food?

I don't really eat meat.

I don't either.

So I wouldn't, if they're with meat.

Do you eat fish?

Yeah.

Yeah, me too. We're both pescatarians.

Oh, I didn't know.

I mean, God.

Honey. I might try some of the fish stuff, although it's very ... I don't know.

I know before, we were talking about a little bit of social media. We had some responses from some Freshpet users.

Yeah, we wanted to know ... I guess some people are weird about being called "pet parents," I know.

We don't want to just be relegated to our answers, because we know a world of pet love exists outside of this room.

Exactly. Exactly, so this one's actually a little bit controversial. Someone said, "I am a pet owner. I love and adore my dogs, but they are not human and I'm a parent to my human children. I cringe at terms 'pet parent' or 'pet mom and dad.' Liz, from Richmond, Virginia." I got a thing or two to say to you! No. No, I get that, but I think that ... I don't know. Go ahead.

I think some people have a very traditional sense of what "parent" is and I think that as time changes, language changes and as relationships ... We use the word "adoption" and we don't only use it with pets. We use it with children as well and I think it's important to keep that in mind, to respect everyone's opinion, especially when people have children. Like for me, I might not have children and so really, the beings that I want to be a maternal figure to are pets, but it's different to everybody and I don't want to dog this lady.

I know. I don't think there's anything wrong with being not so into the "pet parent" term, but "pet owner," I think I don't feel great about.

My fiancee has said before, when he was going to sleep one night ... You know that state when you're just about to fall asleep and you say some really just-

When you get real.

When you get ... You're having some real existential thoughts. He goes, "Can you really own a cat, or the two of you just get along?" I was like, "Yeah."

I get it. I get it, Liz, is what I'm saying. If you don't want to be a pet parent, the relationship with your children's different.

It is.

I have not seen it and I'm sure that I will never love anything as much as I love Floof Boi, but to each her own.

But I respect parents as well.

Yes, of course.

But how do you feel about the word "fur baby," though?

I don't know. It's a little bit listicle, where it makes me feel gross.

It's very listicle.

But I get it.

I like to do it in jest, kind of when I'm making fun of how Snake Person I am. You know what I mean? It's like, "Oh, my fur baby," like you have to do it in a certain, "Oh, my fur baby who I love so much," but I wouldn't just be like, "Yeah, they're my fur baby." I wouldn't.

He's my dog. Why do we need to ... "He's the love of my life"? No. He's the second love of my life and I don't know. There was one person who responded on social media. I have to call her out. Nita, from Oceanside, California. When asked whether she called herself "pet parent or pet mom and dad," she said, "Goddess."

Goddess. I wrote that one down as well.

That's something that I can really get behind.

Another one I can really get behind, I don't know you said it, but I did write it down. Maybe you can find it and we can plug it in later on, "member of the pack."

Oh, that's so cute! I love that.

Because that's like their heart beats as much as my heart beats and I'm in this house as much as you're in this house and we're a wolf pack.

I love it. Floofs sleeps in the bed with us, too, and it makes me really feel like we're pack mates. I thought it was interesting. Joe from Calumet City, Illinois, said, "Don't like being called a 'doggy daddy,' but 'pet parent' is better."

Yeah, that's nice.

I think that's more where Jared was, too. I do wonder how they feel about being a dog zaddy.

Zaddy?

You've never heard this?

No.

Google it. Oh, okay. I guess that's slang that I've heard.

What's a dog zaddy?

It's when there's just a really handsome gentleman and you're like, "Hey, daddy," but it's zaddy, with a Z.

I also found another response that was "house mate."

That's so cold.

I know.

Oh my God. If I called my husband my house mate, that would be the end of things.

I feel like I don't know for sure because it was just house mate, but I feel like that's a cat owner.

That's funny.

They cohabitate together.

Do you ever really own a cat or are you guys just hanging out?

Just getting along and I think that's-

Not roommates, housemates.

How he feels about me and my wild spirit. Also another one I liked, "chauffer."

Yes!

I feel like that's a dog owner and that's a pet parent. That's a pet parent right there.

That was Lori from Hatton, Pennsylvania. She says not his parent. She does have a child and she says, "There's a world of difference, some good, some not so good." I get that.

Lori, thanks for just gettin' real with us right now.

I'm definitely his chauffer.

Yes. I just imagine if Candy ... If I could bring a cat to work, and she was like, "Mother, mother! Are you in this room, mother?" And say her and Floof, "We have to team up so we can find our mothers."

When he's looking for me, he looks like Mr. Magoo with his eyes, by the way.

He does.

But I hear the soundtrack. It's like, "Be bup ba bup be bup bup bup bup bup ch ch ch." He's just like, "Ba ba ba ba! I don't know where Katie went. Can you please tell me where she went?" Then he just boops around all the places.

I feel like Candy has a similar soundtrack. Little dogs have like, "Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh," but then I think of a English bulldog or something, it's like, "Boom boom boom boom boom boo boom ba boom, bow bow boom." They're more-

I like that.

Because they're a little more wobbly. I was thinking about this, too. Sometimes I feel bad that the cat's all locked up in the room all day long. It's like we feed them and then we hang out with them and then I'm like, "Oh, maybe I want to put a leash on them," or whatever. I don't think Phoebe would be able to handle that. I'm like, "Maybe they want to meet other cats, be more socialized," but we have a nextdoor neighbor that has built a shelter. We call it the Hotel Kittyfornia and we sing a song, "Welcome to the Hotel Kittyfornia. Such a lovely place"-

"Such a furry place."

"Where raccoons come, too." You'll see them in the middle of the night. They'll stick a flashlight in there and be like, "Get out of here, raccoon," and I was like, "You know what? You can't. This is classist. Why don't you just let the raccoon eat the food? Why are you being so selective here?"

Raccoons need hotels, too.

Katie, this has been a real treat to be here with you.

It sure has.

And guess what? It's not ending any time soon. We have other episodes coming up.

We sure do.

But unfortunately, this one must come to a close. We're going to put it to bed in its cute little themed outfit, like Floof.

Tuck it in?

Tuck it in. Tuck it in like it's a Snoopy waffle and we don't want ... Yup. Just put the little blanket over it and say, "Na night." Give it a little treat, and then we'll head to bed and close the door so nobody will knock over my lamp off of my dresser. We do have other episodes coming up. I'm going to be getting a dog soon, going to be adopting a dog. A lot of people for the longest time have pitted dogs against cats. The battle that has raged as long as the Hatfields and McCoys, am I right? Next week, I think we're going to dive into "Dogs versus Cats: Better?!"

"Friend or Foe?" Lots to get into.

"Better?!"

"Better?!"

"Better?" This is bigger than Tupac versus Biggie.

Hopefully, it will not end quite as tragically.

Yes. I'm sorry. That's sad. How about we do a more light one, like-

No, I like it.

"Katy Perry versus Taylor Swift."

Mm-mm (negative). Too dark.

No, too dark? Sorry.

I get worked up.

You said bring it up, Andrea, bring it up! Well, until next week, I bid you adieu. Katie?

Bye!

Bye!

See you later. "Goodbye. This is Floof Boi. I'm just saying goodbye because I've been here the whole time. Okay, bye!"

"Goodbye, mother. Candy loves you."

This podcast was made by Freshpet, real pet food made with all natural ingredients, steam-cooked without preservatives, and ready to serve fresh from the fridge. To learn more, visit freshpet.com.

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